Emo And Scene

If I had a dollar for every time some emo/scene kid told me to stop bothering him for being a whining ass-faggot, I'd have enough money to make Bill Gates my personal “adult entertainer”.

Dear Reader, you are probably confused, so allow me to explain. Emo/scene, which are really the same thing under different names, is a sort of social movement and cliché. They wear darker clothing, frequent Hot Topic, and can't tell a gay boy from their reflection. They claim to have “real problems”, are depressed, or at least repress their “positive emotions”, and cannot fucking stand being bothered for their own faggotry. A regular complaint with them is “BAWWW! Nobody loves me, so I'm going to drown you all out with the $1000 entertainment system my parents, that don't care about me, got me!”

Of course, the emo crowd is one of my favorite targets. Like all teenage cliche's, they are annoying and horribly superficial. Also like all other cliche's, they add to currently-existing problems. For those that don't believe me, compare a “gangsta's” literary capabilities to that of a “cracka”. Before I attack emo's on this meaningful problem, I'll state the ordinary garbage about their superficial, hypocritical ways.

“No one loves me!”

Pathetic. Were they not immature, self-absorbed cumtwats, they would recognize the love, even if it is a vaguely material one, their parents have for them. For every “emo” snapshot I see on MySpace, which clearly took an expensive camera and an expensive computer to get there, with the caption “no1 luvs me so ill go cut my rists” I die inside.

But that is an over-used example, so instead I use myself. Yes, me, the god of fuck and metal, who does not care about anyone. Just a question: If the people that harass emo's don't hate them, why do they do it? Could it be... Concern for their well-being?

The horror!

“I have deep emotions!”

If laughter were considered a spiritual orgasm, I think I would be a sex addict by now.

Let's attack the “deep” part first.

In no way is whining about your ex-girlfriend, your bitchy parents, or your wrists that aren't scarred enough, “deep”. No, not even the occassional attempt at sociopolitical commentary. “Depth” is a non-existent ideal.

Any sort of depth that exists could very well be present in that statement, however. Those that have dealt with an Emosaurus should know by now that “I have deep emotions!” is actually Emospeak for “My emotions are more real than yours!” But this is a ploy; an emotion does not need whining and/or words to be portrayed. The emo's wish only to give themselves credit they do not deserve.

“I get picked on! No one understands me!”

This is probably my favorite slogan of the stereotypical Emosaurus. I wouldn't mind it so much if they were capable of understanding the reason intellectuals “pick on” them... I'd even settle for their understanding of why the other cliché's abuse them. Emo's are bullied, not because of a real disagreement in views, but just for them being emo. This is an easy thing to avoid, of course, as emo is something that is self-inflicted.

“Emo” is easy to understand. A group of whiny fuckwads decide they have problems, so they band together for the attention and affection they cry about never getting. They then continue to sob about them getting no attention or love, and how much the world sucks, despite their goal of getting attention having already succeeded. The emo continues to do this until they either change to another cliché, grow up, or commit suicide. The latter is unlikely, however, as the emo's do not have real problems, and here is why I personally hate the disgusting concept of being “emotionally hardcore”.

Common “problems” of the Emosaurus include depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress, and more recently, borderline personality disorder. I admit, we cannot truly blame them for this; it is societies fault in general, for allowing proper illnesses of the psyche to devolve into common problems that can be solved by popping a few pills.

But the emo population does not take into consideration what it means to be depressed. No, feeling sad does not cut it, particularly when you are a wangsty teen that can't shut the fuck up. Certainly, these can be warning signs of a depressive state, but they can be overcome a great deal more easily than people pretend.

That is my problem with the emo's: They have turned mental illness into something that is petty, common, desirable and something that one does not need serious help for. Take a pill and get a smile? Bullshit. The genuinely ill are told to just shrug it off, or that it will pass. While these may be true for the hormonal teens that slit their wrists because they only got a FOUR gigabyte iPod, it isn't for those that can't even fucking get out of bed.

Emo is another superficial fad that deserves all the hate and abuse it gets. Fuck My Chemical Romance; I don't care how many damn lives Gerard Way says he saved. So long as emo leeches continue to believe MCR is the epitome of depth and intelligence, I will sodomize every Emosaurus I meet.